


When Life Sucks!

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-05 02:41:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3102545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lesson of everything............MAKE SURE YOUR LIKE DOESN'T SUCK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who's this hottie?

Alfred started wiping down the diner tables.

So here we have our main character, Alfred Jones.

22 years old, blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses and freckles. And 100% American.

He lives a really boring life as a waiter.

Suckish pay, shitty bosses, and bitchy fellow workers. Life sucked. Up until now...

Another tall blonde man walked in. Here we have another character.

He's important. His name is Ivan Braginski. He has sandy blonde hair, purple eyes, pale skin. He's 100% Russian.

Ivan sat at one of the booths, waiting for someone to take his order.

Alfred, seeing the sexy beast, walked over and flipped his notebook out.

"May I take your order?" He asked. Ivan nodded. "Da. I would like a plate with sausage, eggs, and toast." He said in a thick Russian accent.

Alfred nodded, writing it all down. "Coming right up sir." He said, walking to the cook and giving him the order.

Ivan was the only one in the entire diner, waiting patiently for his food.

' _Damn, look at his face! I'd tap that_...' Alfred thought. "WAKE UP!" The cook yelled, shoving the plate in Alfred's face.

"Alright geez!" Alfred said, taking the plate. Alfred walked to Ivan's booth and put the plate in front of him.

"Here you go sir!" Alfred chirped, smiling. Ivan nodded and smiled. "Thank you"

Alfred walked back to the kitchen where the cook was.

"Alfred, what-a the fuck? Are you awake?! Jesus you're looking at-a that man like you want-a to fuck him!" The cook said.

Ah! Our cook, Lovino Vargas, is a 21 year old man with brown hair and brown eyes. He's 100% Italian.

Alfred blushed. "Lovino! Geez you're such an asshole! Just because I look at someone, doesn't mean I want to fuck them!"

Lovino smirked. "You look like you need-a a blowjob from that-a guy~"

Alfred glared at him. "And you look like you need a high five. In the face. With a chair."

Lovino chuckled. "That is why-a I don't completely hate you!" He replied, cleaning up.

Alfred smiled and walked out to see if Ivan was done. And he was. Alfred walked over and took the plate.

"Check coming up" he said. Ivan nodded. Alfred opened the doors to the kitchen and put the plate in the sink.

Alfred set up his check and walked out to give it to Ivan. ' _I love his nose! Fuck, I might just get a boner_...'

"Here you go sir, have a great evening." Alfred said as Ivan put money into the check slot.

Ivan walked out without another word. Alfred sighed and went to put the money in the register.

When Alfred went to collect the tip, he saw an $400 in cash.

Alfred screamed. "HOLY SHIT LOVINO THIS GUY LEFT ME 400 DOLLARS AS A TIP!"

Lovino came running in. "Holy crappola!" He laughed. "Looks like-a he wanted you-a too!"

Alfred blushed. "Asshole..."


	2. Hheeeeyyyyy look at that!

Lovino smirked. "I know when you-a want to fuck-a someone. I'm Italian." Alfred smiled.

 

"Alright, fine. He was giving me a boner. He was just so hot!!" Lovino shook his head.

 

"Do you even know-a his name?" Alfred shook his head. "But I can always look at the check!" Alfred said excitedly, grabbing the check.

 

'Ivan Braginski' It read. Alfred bit his lip. Lovino looked over Alfred's shoulder. "I think he's-a Russian" Alfred nodded.

 

' _That's a pretty hot name_ ' He thought. Lovino sighed as he heard his phone ring. He picked it up.

 

"Holla Lovi!~" A man said from the other side of the line. This is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. 25 years old.

 

He was beautifully tanned, had brown hair, and dashing green eyes. He's Spanish. Lovino growled. "DON'T-A CALL ME THAT TOMATO BASTARD!!" He yelled. Alfred chuckled. Lovino glared at him.

 

"Aww Lovi, you're always so cold~" Lovino pursed his lips.

 

"Shut up tomato bastard!" Antonio laughed. "Alright. Come home soon Lovi!" And with that he hung up.

 

Lovino sighed and sat down on a stool. Then his phone rang again. "MERDA!!" Lovino swore, picking it up. "WHAT?!" He screamed. His brother was on the other end. "Ciao fratello!"

 

That is Feliciano Vargas. 20 years old. Brown hair, brown eyes, and a cute face. He's also Italian. Lovino calmed down. "Sì fratello?" Feliciano giggled. "Are you-a coming over?" Lovino sighed.

 

"No." Feliciano smiled. "Are you-a going to Antonio's house?" Lovino blushed. "Shut up!" He hung up. Alfred erupted in laughter. "Dude, you are so mean!" Lovino smirked.

 

"You can't-a speak, Russian cock sucker." Alfred blushed. "Dude!" Lovino laughed. Alfred pouted. "It's almost-a time to close." Lovino pointed out.

 

Alfred looked at the clock. Lovino was right. "Alright then, I'll start cleaning up" Alfred walked to the booth where Ivan ate and saw something on the seat. It was a scarf. ' _Shit_!' Alfred thought, grabbing it. ' _Now I have an excuse to see him!'_


	3. Hey look at that! It's a bird, it's a plane, nope! It's Ivan!

-THE NEXT DAY-

Alfred sighed as his alarm clock buzzed. 'Another shitty day!' He thought, getting ready. He walked out to the diner.

Alfred put on his apron, grabbed his notebook and pen, and started taking orders. He smiled as he saw the daily couple that always came by.

That couple was Berwald Oxenstierna and Tino Väinämöinen. Berwald was tall, blonde, blue eyed, pale, toned, and Swedish.

Tino Väinämöinen was short, blonde, brown eyed, pale, a little fluffy, and Finnish.

Alfred walked up to their table and smiled. "Hey guys!" Tino smiled. "Alfred! How are you doing?!"

Berwald just grunted. Alfred and Tino were best friends. Alfred sighed contentedly. "What may I get for you?"

"Usual, please" Berwald said. Alfred nodded and walked to the chef's kitchen. He placed the order.

Then HE walked in. Alfred froze and blushed furiously. Alfred saw the worried expression on his face.

Alfred walked over to him. "Hello again sir! May I take your order?" Ivan shook his head.

"Actually, I'm looking for my scarf that I left yesterday." He said in that sexy accent of his. Alfred nodded.

"I have it" he said. Ivan's eyes widened. "Really?!" Alfred nodded. Ivan smiled and hugged Alfred. Then he kissed the corner of his lips.

Well shit escalated quickly....

Alfred blushed furiously. "I-I have it here..." he went to his bag and fished it out.

Alfred handed it to him. Ivan hugged it. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!" He said. Alfred smiled. "No probs"

"ORDER UP!!" Lovino screamed. He smirked. "Go-a get some Alfred!" He said when he saw Alfred.

Alfred blushed and took the plates. "Hey I found your nose. It was in my business." Lovino smirked.

"Hey I found-a your asshole. It has-a a Russian dick in it" Alfred laughed. "Hey!"

Lovino smiled. Alfred walked over to Tino and Berwald and set their plates down.


	4. Starbucks Be Like...

Alfred sighed as he sipped his coffee. "Hey Lovino, what do you think about that guy?"

The two were at Starbucks, on their lunch break. Lovino frowned. "He looks like-a some aristocrat or some-a shit"

Alfred laughed. "That's what I thought!" They were talking about this posh looking brunette guy.

Lovino nodded in approval and sipped his coffee. Suddenly, some blonde guy bumped into the brunette, spilling coffee on his posh shirt.

"You peasant bastard!!" The brunette screeched. The blonde rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, geez" 

But the brunette was still fuming. "You low standard, uneducated, dirty peasant! How dare you?!" He seethed. The blonde scoffed.

"Bitch please. You're just some prick in a cravat." He said. The brunette gasped and straightened his posture. "Excuse me, I have class!"

The blonde crossed his arms. "You tell yourself that fucker" Lovino and Alfred watched the unfolding scene before them.

The brunette scowled. "Did your mother forget to clean your mouth? Your language is unacceptable"

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Did the aliens forget to remove the anal probe? Your so stuck up"

Lovino almost choked on his coffee and Alfred laughed. "HEY!" There was a booming voice.

It was a Starbucks worker. "Get out. Both of you." The blonde and brunette walked out with a huff.

Lovino and Alfred were dying of laughter. When they finally stopped, they high fived each other.

"Best-a fight ever!" Lovino said. Alfred nodded. "Too bad we don't know who they are..." The cashier smirked.

"Hey guys, come here" he whispered to them. Lovino bravely walked over. "What?" "The blond was named Vash and the brunette was Roderich"

Lovino smirked. "Grazie" he said and told Alfred. They smiled, walking back to work.


	5. Just Friends I See...

Lovino and Alfred arrived at the diner just in time. Their boss was pissed. "Where were you guys?! Are you serious?!"

Lovino scoffed. "Up your-a mom's vagina!" He said, walking to the kitchen. Alfred chuckled.

The boss glared at him. "Whatever" He walked out. Alfred sighed and put his apron on. Lovino was already cooking.

"Dude, that guy is an ass jacket!" Alfred exclaimed. Lovino nodded in agreement.

"He isn't getting-a some. So he tries to-a ruin everyone else's happiness." Lovino said, cooking eggs.

Alfred got his notepad and chuckled. "Loner" Lovino smiled. Alfred saw a new couple sitting in a booth.

There was a man with brown hair, tan skin, and green eyes. His name is Jett. He's Australian. 

There was another man with blonde hair, pale skin, and blue eyes. His name is Matthias Køhler. He's Danish.

They were conversing casually, but Alfred knew they were a couple because their hands were interlocked.

"What may I get they lovely couple?" Alfred asked. They blushed. "We aren't a couple!" Said Matthias.

Alfred raised a brow. "Friends with benefits?" Jett shook his head. Alfred sighed. "Ok. What may I get you?"

Matthias smiled. "Two dinner plates please." Alfred wrote it down. "And to drink?" He asked.

"Just water, thank you" said Jett. Alfred nodded and placed the order. "It's almost closing time Lovino. Half an hour left."

Lovino smiled and cooked. "Great!" He put the plates on the rack for Alfred to carry.

Alfred took them to the two men and smiled. "There you go!" He walked back as they started eating.

'10 minutes left!!' Alfred saw a man standing outside the diner. 'What the fuck?...'

He walked out and immediately recognized him. "Antonio?" Antonio smiled. "Holla Alfred! I'm picking up Lovi today. But don't tell him I'm here"

Alfred nodded and walked back in. The couple were finished. "Alright check coming right up" Alfred gave them the check.

They paid and left. Alfred started wiping the tables and Antonio walked in. "Lovi~"


	6. Defending

The Italian immediately stiffened. "What the fuck do you-a want bastardo?!" Antonio wrapped his arms around Lovino.

Lovino pulled Antonio away. "It's our anniversary!" Exclaimed Antonio. Lovino's eyes widened. "O-oh yeah."

Antonio looked at Lovino with a stern, cold face. "You forgot, didn't you?" Lovino shook his head frantically. "I-a brought you flowers!"

Antonio smiled again. " That's so nice of you!" As Lovino and Antonio were flirting, Alfred walked out.

'Geez, such lovebirds!' Alfred sighed and pulled his brown bomber jacket closer to him. "Well well we'll, look who we have here. Ohhonhonhon~"

Alfred rolled his eyes. "What do you want Francis?" An average height, blonde, blue eyed man with porcelain skin walked out. He's Francis Bonnefoy, a French guy.

Francis smirked. "You look like a piece of worthless shit. Why do you still walk around calling yourself a hero?"

Alfred clenched his jaw. Francis always bullied him. It really got to him. "Francis, please, stop. Not now."

Francis snickered. "So ashamed to even talk, you fat, ugly, imbecile- AHHGHH!" Francis screamed as he was pinned against the wall.

Alfred gasped when he saw it was Ivan. Ivan looked like he was going kill Francis. "Don't mess with my Fredka, da?"

Francis sputtered and nodded. Ivan grabbed his throat and threw him on the ground.

Francis fell with a loud thump and wheezed. "Merde!" He ran, only to be grabbed by the hair by Ivan.

"Apologize." Alfred just stood there, dumbfounded. Francis nodded. "I-I'm sorry Alfred!" Ivan let him go and Francis ran.

Alfred ran to Ivan and hugged him. Ivan hugged back. "Thanks dude. I mean it. But..." Alfred pulled away. "Did you call me yours?"

Ivan nodded and kissed Alfred. Alfred pulled away and smiled. "How about you ask me out, Scarfboy?"

Ivan smiled cutely and cleared his throat. "Will you go out with me?" Alfred nodded and kissed him.


	7. Francis

Francis ran to his apartment, crying. He was defeated. Again. He bit his lip, trying to build a dam to stop the river of tears.

He walked into the elevator and pressed the button to the fourth floor. There was another person in the elevator.

Arthur. Arthur was an average sized man with short blonde hair, green eyes, and huge eyebrows. He's from England.

'The last person I wanted to see' Francis thought. Arthur smirked when he noticed Francis. "Hope you had a bad evening, frog"

"I did" Francis whispered. Arthur knit his eyebrows together and looked at Francis. "Francis are you ok?"

Francis took one look at him, hugged him, and broke down on his shoulder. Arthur took pity on him.

"What happened?" Francis sniffled when the elevator doors opened. "Come to my flat and we'll talk." Arthur told Francis, grabbing his hand.

Francis nodded and followed Arthur. When the got to the bright red door, Arthur took out his keys and unlocked it. 

The apartment was very nice. The carpet was the British flag, the walls were white and the furniture was cream.

"Take a seat and I'll make tea." Francis nodded and sat on the smaller couch. Arthur came back shortly with rose tea in Doctor Who and Sherlock mugs.

Arthur handed Francis the Sherlock one and sipped his own. "Now, we can talk." Francis sipped his. "I was humiliated. Completely"

"By who?" Francis looked down. "By Ivan in front of Alfred." Arthur looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. He'll forget about it! I'm sure!"

Francis shook his head. "I admit that I was wrong but...." Francis finished his tea and smiled at Arthur.

"Merci, Arthur. But I have to go." Arthur nodded and closed the door behind Francis.

Francis walked to his apartment, a royal blue door. He took out his own set of keys and walked in.

Francis began cooking, crying slightly. Francis served himself the dinner and ate. How much he ate didn't matter. It'll all come out anyways.

Francis washed his dish. The he took a wooden spoon and walked to the bathroom. He tied his hair back.

Francis leaned over the toilet and shoved the spoon in the back of his throat. He hurled up his dinner.

Francis gasped for air and cried more. Finally, he brushed his teeth and walked to his bedroom.

~~~~

Alfred climbed the oak tree next to a random building. He was having fun until he heard someone crying from their room.

'Who is crying?' Alfred looked in the room and saw Francis sitting in front of his vanity. 'Look at that vain motherfucker'

Suddenly Francis started talking. "You're beautiful. That's what I'll be." He began applying makeup. "That's what I want to be"

Alfred looked confused. Francis applied lipstick. He began to cry more. "And I will b-be beautiful, even if it's the last thing I do."

Alfred felt his anger and hate fade away. 'Wow....' Francis puts down the makeup and looks into his own eyes.

"You are the thinnest. Even if it's painful to throw up your food sometimes. You are......perfect."

Francis buried his face in his hands and walked away. Alfred got down from the tree and frowned.


	8. Apologies Are The Fucking Best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clear (haha dmmd pun) things up, Sei and Aoba aren't OCs. They're from an anime called Dramatical Murder.

'Wow...... Ivan mush have completely finished destroying his decayed ego...' Alfred walked into the apartment building. 'I have to set things right...' He was in the lobby when he saw Arthur.

"Dude! Yo Arthur!!" Alfred called out to Arthur. Arthur glared at him. "Shhh!!" He scolded. Alfred mumbled a soft 'sorry.' Arthur sighed. "What do you want?"

"Do you know what apartment Francis lives in?" Arthur eyed him. "I'm not telling you. You and Ivan fucked up his time." Alfred was shocked, knowing that Francis and Arthur were the worst of enemies.

"He told you?!" Arthur shook his head. "He was crying and I asked him why. He said Ivan humiliated him in front of you. The frog even admitted he was wrong."

Alfred felt a pang of guilt. "That's why I want to apologize." Arthur sighed. "Fine. He's in apartment 4L." Alfred nodded. "Thanks Iggy!!" Arthur scowled. "Don't call me that!"

Alfred entered the elevator, which only contained 1 person. It was a pale, black haired, black eyed,.....person? Alfred couldn't identify their gender. "Umm...hi" He greeted, hating awkward silence.

The person smiled and waved shyly. "Hi" Alfred shot him one of his signature smiles. The man's (apparently) phone rang. He answered it. "Hello?"

"Oh hi Aoba! I'm almost there. Yeah I'm on the elevator. No, I haven't been stalked. Yes..... I did talk to a stranger though. Sorry. Please be quieter Aoba my head is starting to hurt.... ok bye"

Alfred awkwardly listened. 'Why is this elevator taking so long?!?!' The black haired man hung up and rubbed his temples. Alfred, having his hero instincts, jumped to the rescue.

"I have aspirin, you want?" He offered. The man smiled. "Thanks. I'm Sei, by the way. Hey look that rhymed" Alfred chuckled. "I'm Alfred." He handed Sei the pill.

The elevator doors finally opened and Alfred stepped out. "Bye" He walked to Francis' apartment and knocked on the door. The blonde Frenchman opened it.

"Who is i- Merde!" He tried closing it but Alfred was stronger and held the door open. "Let me in I want to apologize!" Francis stopped struggling and let Alfred open the door.

Alfred let himself in and closed the door behind him. He suddenly pulled Francis into a hug. "I saw it. I saw it all." Francis began to cry. "I-I'm sorry I-I r-really am!"

Francis clinched to Alfred like there was no tomorrow. Alfred didn't mind. "Dude, it's ok. I'm sorry about humiliating you. You didn't deserve it." Francis nodded. "I-I did"


End file.
